Her Name Is...SQUAMOUS CELL CARCINOMA..

SHE came into our life with a vengeance. SHE was after my husband and, SHE took him..I had never heard of her.. I didn't like her the first time I heard her name. Her's was the first name I had felt threatened by in my entire marriage..SHE moved very quickly into our lives. Came and claimed what SHE wanted and then, moved on..8 months after first hearing her name...SHE took him from me...SHE waited and plotted those 8 mos. SHE had decided to cause him pain he had never experienced before and although I didn't feel the physical part of it, I FELT IT..SHE let Michael go through a 16 hour surgery but we were told before going in that she was in his brain and, SHE would probably take him then but,SHE didn't...SHE wasn't done with him yet..SHE let him stay with me for the sweetest 8 mos. of my life and my marriage..We don't know how long she had been with him, hiding there, growing, doing what SHE does to people just trying to live this life..When the cyst in Michael's ear started bothering him after all the years being there AND after all the years of my bitching, telling him he needed to go to the Dr. and have it looked at...Only to be told, "I'll have it looked at IF it bothers me".I personally called an Ear Nose and Throat Specialist and made him an appointment.Since her taking him from me I live daily wishing I had done it years before..Once seeing the Dr. and having the biopsy, SHE wreaked her havoc on our lives..We were sent to a Specialist in Gainsville Florida being told by Dr. here, "This is beyond our expertise." In between the time that we made the Dr.'s visit and were sent to Gainsville, This thing grew like a boulder on his face, causing Michael a great deal of pain..It was full of cancer and infection. He couldn't lay down so slept in the recliner..Well, if you want to call that sleeping...He was in a great deal of pain..Michael was a COWBOY and so was I or, that is the term we used over the years to describe our toughness..I was amazed at the strength Michael showed through this... When he could no longer stand the pain of this thing growing so rapidly he went into the bathroom with a razor blade and lanced it... It burst out some of the most horrible things I have ever seen in my life but, it caused him some relief...The pressure of that thing was gone but, he had to do this two more times before we were scheduled for surgery...Long story shortened, Michael had to have nine teeth pulled quickly because radiation would kill them and the area would not heal...His face had paulsyed and he could no longer shut his left eye..During surgery they placed a gold weight in his eyelid to help with that..As mentioned before, we were told the day before Michael had surgery that they believed SHE was in his brain...That is what I faced JUST BEFORE they wheeled him into the operating room..Think about someone you love going into an operating room, just being told that the cancer was in their brain but, Dr's would go in, do all they can and while they're in there they will put a gold weight in the eyelid...Originally the surgery was only scheduled for 8-10 hours but that stretched into 16...Although praying wasn't new to me, I found the chapel at Shands and a pastor spent a good deal of time with me...I was hyper ventalating, lack of sleep etc...Truth is, I don't even remember walking to the chapel..After the longest 16 hours of my life, one of the assisting Dr's we had come to know well came into the waiting room...He asked to speak to me...My heart pounded out of my chest...I had never known this fear...He sat down beside me and proceded to tell me that they were EXTREMELY happy with their progress...They had cut, tied, burned and yanked out any sign of 'HER' they could find...With all the infection Michael lost the bottom of his ear... Didn't matter anyhow because they had sewed the canal shut, never to be opened again... All the reports being said and done and sounding favorable that they had gotten rid of, 'HER' the Dr. then layed the next bomb on me...He had been stuck by a needle while sewing the weight in Michael's eye and needed permission to run an Aides test...Of course he had my permission!Well, Michael didn't have aides but he sure had Hepatitis C, SOMEHOW..On top of facing seven weeks twice a day radiation treatments we were now having to find a Dr. specializing in this area that we knew nothing about..We did that after radiation was over and done..I will post about that at a later date..Michael and I were finally home bound!! We went back to living our life as close to normal as possible... More about that later also...One Sunday Michael didn't feel much like going to Sunday school so I had asked my oldest daughters boyfriend to pick him up when he was on his way to our church...I went ahead with my sister-in-law..When Michael arrived he was more tired than usual and I noticed a small red inflamed area in front of what was left of his ear...I knew 'SHE' was back...We had an appointment in Gainesville the following Wed... I called Dr. got Dr. on call...Explained briefly, FRANTICALLY what was happening to Michael and what had happened allready...This on call Dr. said he would phone in a prescription of antibiotics...I said, "FUCK ANTIBIOTICS, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I HAVE JUST TOLD YOU"!!!I drove from that church past our street...Michael said, " where are you gong"?? I said, " we are going to the hospital"... He said, "NO, I have the appointment in Gainesville on Wednesday"... I kept driving...Gave them Michael's history at the hospital and they kept him...I don't think he's ever been so mad at me...It wasn't long before they came to tell me what I allready knew...SHE was back and, SHE came to claim my husband...We made that trip on Wednesday to Gainesville where we were going to discuss some re-constructive surgery for Michael ... We were told there would be no re-construction...Michael was terminal...SHE took my sweet Michael from me 10/27/2000...When Michael died part of me died with him...PLEASE, PLEASE to anyone who reads this, if you have something growing that you know shouldn't be or if you have something somewhere that you know shouldn't be there, have it looked at...We were told if we had only came 6 mos. sooner they think my story might be different...Your story can have a much happier ending...