Surprises...

Over the years I have seen it bent to, (what I thought) was the point of no return but, it held strong...
Why, at the end of the day would I be surprised??

Why when I've felt over the years that my affirmations, my buildups, support, love, honesty and friendship were for naught?? All these things have come from, first one and then another and with more importance, it seems... Why would I let myself be surprised when I've 'felt' it time and time again??

Like all other circles in my life, this one is broken...I'm on the outside looking in but, I'm not completely broken .. It is because of this that I became what I became but....My friendship has never been un-wavering... I can have more than one friend in my life....I can listen and hear more than one friend at a time...I don't form nor keep friendships because of what I can get materialistic from, said friendships... I don't have to be the "center of attention"..That is not a pre-requisite for my friendship and love... But, I also don't feel the need to push someone out if they at times feel the need to be in the, 'center'...
So....lesson here is....I need to be concentrating on my own circle...The circle of, ME...Seems to work well for others....Although I have been outspoken, irrational, critical, opinionated etc....I have NEVER put myself first... Bout the time I'd think of doing that, someone would come along and need my support, affirmation, music etc...
I have lots of memories...some good, some bad...some happy, some sad.. I live my life on memories...Glad to have them, such as they are, since looking toward the future is kinda scarey.. I'm a survivor...I'll do it...While others are sucking each other dry, I'll continue to live in my circle... It's not as if noone has ever done it....I just need to learn how not to need those affirmations, love, friendship and honesty.... There are no COMPLETE, SOLID circles....SURPRISE!

The Eagle's Choice...

Eagles are the most long-lived bird in the world. By the time they reach 40 years old, their claws will start to age, losing their effectiveness and making it hard for them to catch preys. The life span of an eagle is up to 70 years old. But in order to live this long, it must make the toughest decision at 40...

At 40 its beak is too long and curvy that it reaches its chest. Its wings, full of long, thickened feathers, are too heavy for easy flying. The eagle is left with 2 choices – do nothing and await its death or go through a painful period of transformation and renewal...
For 150 days, it first trains itself to fly beyond the high mountains, build and live in its nest and cease all flying activities. It then begins to knock its beak against granite rocks till the beak is completely removed.
When a new beak is grown, the eagle will use it to remove all its old claws and await quietly for new ones to be fully grown.
When the new claws are fully grown, the eagle will use them to remove all its feathers, one by one.
Five months later, when its new feathers are fully grown, it will soar in the sky again with renewed strength and is able to live for the next 30 years....

In life, as an individual, in a ministry, even in an organization, sometimes, we have to learn to make difficult decisions so as to make room for changes.
Changes bring about renewal. And the only way for us to soar again is to let go old ways, old habits, old lives.
For as long as we are prepared to put aside our old baggage – past glory or shame, past success or failure – be willing to become zero, with an empty cup mentality, we will be able to discover our potential and head towards a renewed perspective in any aspect of our lives.....

May the Lord bless you and all those whom you love ...