Sister's Forever..

Sharon...You are my angel...Even tho you are no longer here on this earth with me other than in my thoughts and memories, I never stop thinking of you...
Our sisterly seeds of love are planted in this pot..You went before me to nuture the growth of those seeds..
You don't even need 'Miracle Grow'..
I wonder when you get the time or permission, would you please ask our Father why he doesn't allow me to dream of you...Why he doesn't allow me to have images of you other than in my minds eye...Why have I not heard your voice?? I know you speak to me...Why can't I hear you??
He's allowed me to see and hear Michael many many times..Why not you?? I yearn for just one small conversation...I would settle for hearing you call my name...I don't have to hear you say your ok, I know this..I saw that on your face as I was lying there next to you in that hospital bed when you left this world...Your face was more beautiful than I could possibly imagine it ever would be..So beautiful, not flushed anymore, pain free...Of all the wonderful memories I have of you, this is the one I remember most... I didn't want that nurse to pry your fingers from around mine...I still feel your precious fingers around mine...
I guess if it's decided I can not hear you as I remain on this earth, you will have plenty to say once I join you... Maybe the seeds planted in this pot will grow into a beanstalk and I can climb it, peer in there and just hear your voice...Maybe I will be able to hear you singing...I am sure He has given you a melodic voice of the beautiful angel you are cause, you sure couldn't carry a note, here on earth! Didn't stop you from trying tho...
Nothing stopped you from trying anything...God knows I miss you, my precious sweet sister... No matter where we are (we proved that time and time again growing up)we will be, Sisters Forever....

I've had alot of things in my life that have left me with feelings of helplesness but, none I can think of is greater than a friend hurting/in need. I don't know what to say to help that friend...It's perfectly obvious there are issues but I'm not eloquent enough nor feel with all the fuck ups in my life that I'm qualified to give advise...I try to sometimes liken some of this friends feelings to mine but, I'm reminded that we are talking about friend and not me...I love this friend unconditionally...Would share and do share,anything and everything in my life...Seems I just don't understand...What parts I do understand and comment on, it's just not the right comments I feel...Our lives are so completely different, it's amazing that we became friends in the first place...Maybe it's because in the past I have hurt this friend but God knows, I really didn't do it intentionally...It was at a time when I clearly was thinking only of myself and an easy way out...In the time that we were apart I felt we lost something...I went around with my head in my ass and friend developed new or stronger friendships that I as a grown woman, find myself sometimes jealous of....Friend is on a roller coaster and I don't know how to stop it....When Michael died I knew exactly what had to be done...I took charge and done it...If memory serves me, friend and I have had only one strong dis-agreement and parted shortly which killed my heart but, I knew I had to go on...I know friend doesn't always agree with what I say nor my actions but, one thing right off the bat was, friend allowed me to be me....Friend would/does advise me from time to time and I usually heed friends advise...Sometimes I really don't want to but, I know friend is only looking out for me... I wish I could return that favor...I love you from my heart friend...I wish I weren't so helpless to your plights..I wish I could offer you advise that would bring some light to your life, as you have mine...I will FOREVER be here for you...I hope you know this...I just want to say in closeing, I'm worried about you...I love you...